Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
