Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
