do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i out mim tonsoeep
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