Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
