you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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