He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
