when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
