You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize