I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize