she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
