I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
