"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
