i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
