There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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