You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
