i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
