Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize