Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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