I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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