the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
