I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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