That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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