We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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