Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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