he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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