He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
