Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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