Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
