I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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