You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
