This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
