I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Operation Purity has been aborted
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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