So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize