I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
