I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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