Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
