Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
