Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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