i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Panties = found
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