I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
