so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
