he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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