i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
