Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
