I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize