yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
