I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
