You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Who died my cat blue again?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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