this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
