Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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