i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize