sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
