I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
