I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
