you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pants are for mortals
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
