Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize