Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
