walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
