i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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