I bet he comes in French.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
