I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just want nice things and good sex
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
