What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
