things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
