Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
