I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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