I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
