you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
honey bunches of taint.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
